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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25731562">The Other Side of the Coin</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Another_chapter/pseuds/Another_chapter'>Another_chapter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Because of Joker duh, Character Death, Dick Grayson is Robin, Joker (DCU) Has Issues, Mentioned Bruce Wayne, Strong Language, There’s like a tiny bit of comedy though, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:21:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,442</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25731562</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Another_chapter/pseuds/Another_chapter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dick dreams of the circus for the first time in years, he realizes that he and Joker have something common. The main difference, however, is that while Gotham had created a hero, it had also made something both grotesque and pitiful. </p><p>_______________________________________</p><p>Inspired by other adaptations of the Joker, but I created my own vague backstory for him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dick Grayson &amp; Joker (DCU)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Other Side of the Coin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Dick was outside the circus when a little girl walked up to him, her doe eyes looking up at him curiously.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Mister, could you make me an animal ballon?" The girl requested.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dick nodded enthusiastically. He blew into the balloon and shaped it into a dog.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The girl giggled happily and took the ballon with both hands. "Thank you, Mister!"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Immediately after, a woman snatched the girl's hand and pulled her away, casing the ballon to drop on the floor. "You know better than to wonder off on your own and talk to strangers," the woman chided.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"But, Mommy! It's just a clown!" The child complained.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The woman looked at Dick, her gaze scrutinizing. "Don't talk back to me, Belle. Let's go. It's dangerous here." The mother and daughter walked away.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Hey! What're ya still doing outside?" A voice whispered sharply from behind him. Dick turned to find a man peeping his head through the circus tent. "Get inside! The gangs are coming!"</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dick blinked in confusion, but his body moved on its own. He ran inside, and the man quickly shut the tent closed, sighing.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Alright," the man said, resting a hand on Dick's shoulder. He looked like the ringmaster. "When they come, just do whatever they say. We've raised almost enough money to meet their requirements. If we act nice, maybe they'll let us get away with it."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dick and the man walked up to a group of other people who looked tense. They all noticed Dick and offered him an attempt of a comforting smile. They all seemed close, as most circus folk were.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Not too long after that, men sauntered into the tent, chins raised and hands bracing their guns.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"You know the drill," one of the gangsters said pointedly.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A woman besides Dick approached the men, her stance tense. She swallowed thickly as the man took cash out of her hands and counted. Everyone watched silently—anxiously.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Nuh-uh. This isn't enough," the gangster said with a quirked brow. "Where's the rest?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"That's all we have left," the woman answered quietly. "Really, there weren't as many costumers as—"</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Hah! I sure betcha'," another gunman cut in. "No one wants to visit this trash of place; it's just plain crap!"</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"It's because you men keep scaring the visitors away!" The man that had taken Dick inside defiantly yelled. The previous woman had to hold him back.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Nah, it's because no one cares about the circus anymore. Kids have video games and water parks, so why would any parent bother bringing their kids here just to smell elephant shit? I'm beginning to think this place is a loss cause and waste of potential."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The circus folk visibly froze.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I mean, why should we be here accepting a few hundreds from y'all when we could get thousands from another groups of people that could use this spot more profitably?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>"No—please," a girl in a circus leotard pleaded. "This is our </em>home. <em>We can get more money for you! We just need time. </em>Please,<em> the circus brings joy to so many people!"</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Another woman in a leotard, her mother maybe, shushed her gently and held onto her protectively.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Really? Brings joy how?" The gangster asked. "What can you do, a few flips? Real cute. And you—" The man looked Dick up and down, snorting. "Go ahead, tell me a joke. If you can make me laugh, I'll let ya'll go this time."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dick was struck with fear, having been put on the spot so suddenly. He stammered and looked instinctively looked at his companions, seeking comfort from their faces. He was met with intense stares that silently begged him to do something immediately.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>"Come on, you're no fun. Do something funny already," the man groaned. "Do you </em>want <em>us to get rid of ya'll?"</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No. Unsure of what to do and in a state of panic, Dick looked down and tapped the flower on his costume. It sprayed water in the eye of the man in front of him.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>The gangsters laughed at him loudly, but the man who had just been sprayed sneered and took out his gun, aiming it at Dick's forehead. "You're gonna </em>regret<em> that."</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"No, don't hurt him!" The girl on Dick's side screamed, now trashing furiously in her mother's grip to fight.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>"And what are you gonna do? Call the police?" The man taunted. "They hate this place more than us. They've let you and everyone in this city rot. Yeah, that's all you all are. A bunch of rotten </em>freaks<em>."</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The barrel of the gun remained between Dick's eyes. Dick was trembling. Why was he trembling?</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>There was absolute stillness for a moment, until action sparked.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The girl in the leotard escaped her mother's hold and ran up to the gunman to pushing him. "Leave him alone! Just leave all of us alone!"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The man stumbled and looked back at the girl with wide eyes, as if no one had ever defied him before.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Or maybe because he knew no one had ever lived after doing so.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>There was a bang.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Blood squirted in the air as the girl who had saved Dick fell onto the ground, a hole in her head.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The mother screamed and men both both sides moved, angry and yelling. More shots fired into the air, and more bodies hit the circus floor, but Dick remained paralyzed, his eye glued to the young girl who had died for him.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Run!" The ringmaster shouted at Dick before a bullet was shot into his stomach, the sound of his pained cry ringing in Dick's ears as he ran as fast as his legs would allow.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Oh NO you don't! You're not getting away from me, you fucker!" The familiar voice of the gangster that killed the girl boomed.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dick dashed out of the tent and through the busy streets. There was no time to utter an apology for roughly bumping into the passersby when he could hear the older man's footsteps and cursing as he chased Dick.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dick made a swift turn around the block and found a mechanic's garage.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Help!" He yelled, but the moment the man working there saw the scene, he dropped his tools and ran off.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>"No one is gonna save you, </em>clown<em>," the gangster spat spitefully, out of breath like Dick was. He slowly cornered Dick into the garage, the gun yet again aimed at his face. "I didn't want everything to end up this way, you know. I was just messin' with ya'll. The worst I was gonna do was make ya'll double the price, but you just </em>had<em> to make me mad and ruin everything. You're a fucking clown! I just wanted to poke some fun at you—get a good laugh. You couldn't do the ONE fucking thing you're supposed to be good at!" The man shook his head. "And I can't have you snitching to the cops."</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dick threw himself at the ground, narrowly avoiding the bullet that lodged itself into the wall, and grabbed a nearby crowbar. Right as the man tried to shoot the gun again, Dick swung the tool at his ankles.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The gangster fell with a shout, the gun slipping out of his hands.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Like a viper, Dick struck again. Then more, again and again, repeatedly without restraint. Blood splattered onto the ground and on his face, and it horrified him, but he couldn't will himself to stop.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Don't you DARE put the blame on me!" Dick demanded. If he could control his body, he would have been frozen in shock, because the voice that came out of his mouth was not his. "Everyone in the circus has worked SO fucking HARD to earn money, and you just stomp in our home to threaten us for it. Then, we STARVE ourselves to try to get as much as you want from us, but noooo! That isn't enough for you!"</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The gangster was curled up, whimpering and gurgling pathetically as blood poured out of his wounds and ended up in places that it didn't belong. The sight made Dick feel sick, but his body seemed to think differently, because he could feel his lips stretch upwards.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"You wanted a joke, eh? EH? Well, fucking fine! Jokes are usually only for the circus, but since the circus is no more, I guess I'll have to make do with what I've got." Dick kicked the man's jaw, forcing his head to be thrown back with a cry.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Why aren't you laughing?" Dick ridiculed. "I thought you said I was 'no fun'! This is hilarious! Come on, FUCKING SMILE, ASSHOLE!"</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dick kicked him more, laughing now. It was loud, taunting, and sadistic.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p><em>He felt a chill to the bone. Dick </em>knew<em> this laugh.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>When the gangster was still and long dead, Dick finally let go of the crowbar and walked out of the garage. As he passed an empty car, he looked at his reflection through the window.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A bloody, white face-painted, green-haired man looked back at him, a venomous grin his most prevalent feature.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dick gasped, shooting up from his pillow. He heaved and desperately reached for his face. </p><p> </p><p>Okay, he was Dick. He was awake. That had been a dream. </p><p> </p><p><em>One scary ass dream</em>, he thought. </p><p> </p><p>Why had he been dreaming about being Joker in the circus? Was it because Dick was going to make a speech at the opening of this season's first carnival? Or was it because Joker had escaped Arkham again?</p><p> </p><p>Dick shook his head and lied back down again. Nightmares weren't uncommon considering the horrors he experienced in his hero career, so he wasn't as scared as he had been back in the day when he had dealt with nightmares concerning his parent's death. He was seventeen, nearly eighteen, years old now; no longer the easily frightened nine-year-old he had once been.</p><p> </p><p>But as Dick nestled up to his blankets, trying to comfort himself enough to fall back asleep, he could still see the disturbing corpses of the girl and gangster engrained in his mind.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>"Good afternoon, Gotham city!" Dick announced, leaning towards the microphone is front of him. The crowd cheered at him. "As you all probably know, I, having been raised in a circus, really love this time of the year when the carnival opens up. I feel like anyone and everyone of all ages can enjoy it and create fun memories. That is why I was more than enthusiastic to fund this year's event. I hope—"</p><p> </p><p>Gun shots rung in the air. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Are you kidding me.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>The crowd ducked at the sound, screaming in fear. Dick's security ran up to him, immediately ready to get him to safety, but Dick put a hand up for them to wait. </p><p> </p><p>Up in the distance, Dick could see someone on the Ferris wheel holding a huge megaphone. </p><p> </p><p>"Aw, man! <em>I </em>wanted to be the first one to greet Gotham!" The person whined. The voice was easily identifiable: Joker. Civilians began running and screaming again, but there were people, Joker's henchmen hiding in plain sight, who took out their guns, and stopped them. </p><p> </p><p>"Well, you win some, you loose some," Joker said in his usual exaggerated, comedic voice. "Anyway, don't mind me! I'll just watch from up here where I can watch Mister Playboy Junior—Aw, he looks like an ant! So cute and steppable."</p><p> </p><p>It couldn't be a coincidence that Joker was here, could it? And with Joker watching Dick, he couldn't call Bruce for help, leaving him in a challenging situation. He'd have to play along until someone called the police, then.</p><p> </p><p>"What do you want, Joker?" Dick asked through the mic.</p><p> </p><p>"What? Can't a guy just enjoy the lovely, gray and polluted Gotham air?" Joker asked. "You'd think a clown would get some special treatment around here! Oh, wait, so that's why you're on stage." </p><p> </p><p>"Considering there are armed men, you <em>do </em>want something," Dick said impatiently. It was hard to have to play helpless rich kid when he was used to attacking Joker the moment he could as Robin. </p><p> </p><p>"Well..." Joker sighed dramatically. "It's lonely up here. And boring. Why don't ya meet me up here so we can chit chat? I'm sure you'll want to because I know your little, dirty secret~!" </p><p> </p><p>Dick tensed up at the connotation of that. Was he talking about... Robin? No, he couldn't be. It was probably just a bluff. Still, there were people at risk if he refused, so he had no choice. </p><p> </p><p>"Alright. Order your goons to drop their guns."</p><p> </p><p>"You heard Richie rich pants, lads!"</p><p> </p><p>Dick's bodyguards shot him concerned looks, so Dick whispered, away from the microphone, "just call the police and I'll try to stall. I'll be okay."</p><p> </p><p>All of Joker's men complied and let their weapons fall the ground. </p><p> </p><p>"Now scram, you ants, before I grab the bug spray!" Joker shouted, cackling as he watched the civilians run away. </p><p> </p><p>Dick got off the stage and pushed through crowd. He walked towards the moving Ferris wheel where one of Joker's henchmen were working the controls. </p><p> </p><p>Dick shot him a dirty look, and the man raised his hands defensively. </p><p> </p><p>"Gotta get cash somehow, my dude," the man said.</p><p> </p><p>"I'll pay you triple the amount he's paying you if you switch sides," Dick quickly bargained. "Just call WayneCorp's number when all of this is over and I'll confirm."</p><p> </p><p>The man blinked. "Oh... uh, damn. Sure."</p><p> </p><p>"When his pod comes towards the ground, stop it and get out of here."</p><p> </p><p>The henchman have a hesitant thumbs up.</p><p> </p><p>When Joker's pod went to its lowest point, it was stopped. Joker opened the door to the pod, scooted over, and said, "hop in!"</p><p> </p><p>Dick didn't. The henchmen took the opportunity to get away as instructed, and Joker craned his neck to watch. </p><p> </p><p>"Huh, I knew I should've never told him that I pour the milk before the cereal. Now he probably thinks I'm a psychopath!" Joker exclaimed. "I mean, just look at how fast he's running!" </p><p> </p><p>"Why the sudden interest in me, Joker?" Dick questioned. Realizing that he sounded too fearless, he added, "because... if it's money you want, I can get it. Just, please, don't hurt me or anyone else."</p><p> </p><p>Joker stepped out of the pod and sauntered towards Dick. "<em>Ooh</em>, nice suit, kiddo," he commented, gesturing towards Dick's black and white outfit. "Just change the colors and bit and add a smile on your face and shazam! I'd have myself a mini Joker."</p><p> </p><p>Dick bit back his disgust at the mere thought of that and muttered a small, "thanks..."</p><p> </p><p>"Lets go on a walk, shall we?" Joker suggested. "I'll tell you what secret of yours I know while we enjoy the sounds of nature. You know, the norm: screaming; crying; sirens. Oh. Sirens."</p><p> </p><p>Dick turned his head to look at the direction of the noise and hopefully find some police officers, but Joker grabbed the teenager's upper arm and pulled Dick with him as he walked away from the sounds. </p><p> </p><p>"The police sure do seem to arrive quickly when it's a rich person's life on the line, aye? Oh, I hope Batsy is here, too! But first I wanna talk with you or else he won't be as much fun!"</p><p> </p><p>Dick debated getting out of Joker's grip before he was put in a worse situation, but if he did that, the police would probably fail to catch Joker, and he'd get away. Plus, Joker would be suspicious of Dick's sudden defiance and skill, and knowing the Clown Prince of Crime, he would stick his noise where it didn't belong and endanger the people close to Dick. </p><p> </p><p>So, instead, Dick let Joker drag him to the men's bathroom where it was empty and quiet. Joker shut the door and gave the place an impressed look. "Wow, I was expecting to be this place to be smelly, but it's actually clean. Give it a few days and it'll smell like a dumpster, but hey, we got lucky!" </p><p> </p><p>"So what's this secret that you know about me?" Dick asked, brows drawn together. </p><p> </p><p>Joker giggled and sat on the sink counters. Swinging his feet, he sang, "you and Batman are working together~"</p><p> </p><p>Dick's heart skipped a beat. "Sorry?"</p><p> </p><p>"No need to play dumb with me, Dickie boy. I've seen things about you that almost no one else has, I bet. And I mean <em>see,</em>" Joker said, raising his brows up and down. "Mommy and Daddy die because of a bad man named Tony Zucco, and then Batman suddenly comes to help. I did my research after, you know. It's funny how Batman comes to save you all the time, isn't it?"</p><p> </p><p>Dick stared at Joker with wide eyes, earning himself a round of hysteric laughter from the villain. </p><p> </p><p>"What are you trying to say?" Dick asked carefully. If Dick reacted the wrong way, Joker would put the pieces together. </p><p> </p><p>"You're not too bright, are you?" Joker noted, tapping his own head to emphasize his point. "You probably know the Bats and Bird's identities, ya simpleton! This is fan-TASTIC! AHAHA! What does Batsy value more? His secret identity or your life? Oh, I feel ecstatic just <em>thinking</em> about it!" </p><p> </p><p>Dick quietly sighed a subtle breath of relief. So Joker <em>didn't</em> know their identities. Unfortunately, he did know that there was some sort of connection between Dick and Robin, but how? </p><p> </p><p>"What do you mean by 'you've seen things about me that no one else has'?" Dick asked. "And why only now?"</p><p> </p><p>"Hell if I know," Joker said with a shrug. "I just went nighty-night and saw little ol' you in the circus. Might I add that you were <em>so </em>short! What were you, five?" </p><p> </p><p>Dick did a double take. "Wait you—you had a <em>dream </em>about me? In the circus?"</p><p> </p><p>"Feel special? Ah, it's okay, I don't blame you. It's pretty awesome being in the one and only Joker's dreams! Usually that's only reserved for my Batsy-watsy."</p><p> </p><p>Dick was certain now that last night's dream hadn't been random occurrence or coincidence. Something was making him and Joker share memories. Whatever Joker had seen had been about Dick in the circus, so what Dick had seen had been about... Joker in the circus?</p><p> </p><p>"Judging by your face, you definitely know the Dynamic Duo's identities," Joker stated. </p><p> </p><p>"I <em>don't</em> know their identities," Dick denied. </p><p> </p><p>"It's A-okay, Dickie. You don't have to tell me!" Joker said. His eyes darkened, his smile shark-like. "I want to hear Batman say it."</p><p> </p><p>"So, what? You're gonna make him choose between telling you his and Robin's identities or letting me die?"</p><p> </p><p>Joker's shoulders jumped as he laughed. "You've got the right idea! I can see you've lived in Gotham long enough to guess an old time villain's sinister plan, huh? Or should I say you've been kidnapped by them enough times?"</p><p> </p><p>Dick glared at him.</p><p> </p><p>This was more complicated than Dick originally expected. It was best if he left before he could be used against Bruce, and it didn't seem like Joker had any weapons, so leaving wouldn't be too difficult. Dick would just have to make it seem he got a sudden burst of adrenaline from fear that made him able to run so fast.</p><p> </p><p>So that's what he did. Except, when Dick tried to open the door, the handle didn't turn.</p><p> </p><p>"Whoops, that failed real quick. How embarrassing," Joker said, watching Dick mess with the door handle.</p><p> </p><p>"Joker, is this door <em>locked</em>?" Dick demanded. </p><p> </p><p>"<em>Duh</em>," Joker replied. "Jeez, you'd think someone with your money could afford a pair of glasses!" </p><p> </p><p>Dick spun towards Joker's direction. "If this door is locked, then <em>how</em> are we gonna get out?" </p><p> </p><p>Joker smiled fell to make an 'o' shape. "Oh."</p><p> </p><p>Dick groaned, dragging a hand over his face. </p><p> </p><p>"Ah, no worries, Richie. You're too beloved by the internet's fangirls to be let missing for too long. The police'll check every inch of this carnival, just you wait!"</p><p> </p><p>Joker had been wrong. </p><p> </p><p>Dick checked his watch every so often to find that only an hour had passed after it feeling like an eternity. This was torture. Dick wanted so badly to bust down the door, but, of course, that wouldn't be very billionaire socialite-like, so he had to endure the agony of staying in a bathroom with the Joker.</p><p> </p><p>When Dick thought he was bored, Joker always found a way to remind him that he was twice as bored. He'd sing randomly, breaking into a musical dance number. He'd talk nonstop and force Dick to listen to his rambling on why Batman was the best hero. </p><p> </p><p>"His dark suit and cape is just so dramatic, and his cowl really brings out his show-stopping frown. And his voice—it's so deep and rough. Ever girl's dream, am I right? Oh, oh, and his <em>bat ears</em>! Who doesn't love a guy with bat ears? It's so damn sexy!" </p><p> </p><p>Dick was glad that Joker had chosen for their hiding place to be the bathrooms because it would have been really awkward if they had to pee in a corner somewhere. However, even though Dick chose to use the stalls, Joker was shameless and used the urinals, wiggling around as he hummed a melody. </p><p> </p><p>In a way, it wasn't all that bad, because at least Dick could keep an eye on Joker, and the man had been keeping the atmosphere relatively light, but Dick knew that Bruce was probably somewhere out there, worried sick. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Twelve-o-clock was the time that Joker finally fell asleep, curled up on the bathroom floor, using his blazer as a blanket. </p><p> </p><p>For a moment, looking past the marble white skin and green hair, Joker looked... normal, but Dick knew better to think something like that. </p><p> </p><p>Dick tried as quietly as he could to kick his foot again the door, but it was still averagely loud. </p><p> </p><p>When the door crashed down, Dick nervously looked at Joker, expecting the clown to wake up, confused. Instead, Joker was still asleep, but he was mumbling and frowning deeply. </p><p> </p><p>Then, his eyes flew open, and he sat upwards while gasping for air. </p><p> </p><p>Dick probably should have ran off while Joker was recomposing himself, but a curious, <em>stupid</em> part of him wanted to see if Joker had had another dream about Dick. If Joker kept having dreams about Dick, would Dick keep having dreams about Joker as well? How long would it go on for? And how much would it reveal about their personal lives?</p><p> </p><p>Dick never got to find out because Joker looked <em>terrified. </em>He looked up at Dick with bulging eyes. </p><p> </p><p>"N-no..." the man whispered. </p><p> </p><p>Dick furrowed his brows and took a step forward. "Joker? What's the matter? Did you have another dream about me?"</p><p> </p><p>Joker dug his hands in his green hair, gritting his teeth. </p><p> </p><p>He looked hostile, but pained. Dick wasn't sure what to do. </p><p> </p><p>"<em>You,</em>" Joker suddenly hissed. "I HATE YOU!" </p><p> </p><p>Dick walked backwards, towards the door—the exit; escape. Joker was unstable, and Dick didn't know why. "What did I do?"</p><p> </p><p>Joker hugged himself, shaking his head wildly. "Nonononono! NO! NO! Batman was supposed to tell me, GOD DAMN <em>IT</em>!"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>"Joker—"</p><p> </p><p>"You're... you're Robin," Joker said, shaking. "I fucking KNOW. All because of your FUCKING MEMORIES!" He got up to his feet and punched the mirror above the sink. The sound of shattering glass echoed the room. "It SHOULD'VE BEEN BATMAN! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE <em>BATMAN</em>!"</p><p> </p><p>Joker knew. Batman's worst enemy <em>knew </em>their identities. </p><p> </p><p>Dick needed to tell Batman <em>now</em>, but he also needed to knock out the Joker before he did something terrible. He inched towards the clown.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Get away</em>!" Joker yelled. "You ruined EVERYTHING! IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO <em>BE LIKE THIS</em>!" </p><p> </p><p>Then, to Dick's shock, Joker slid to the shard-littered ground, and began sobbing. "Everything's ruined. It's—it's no fun anymore!"</p><p> </p><p>Before Dick could decide his next move, Joker jolted up to his feet. Dick raised his fist, expecting a fight, but Joker walked up to the sink and began aggressively pounding his head against it. </p><p> </p><p>"Joker, what the fuck? Stop it!" Dick shouted. </p><p> </p><p>"No, D-dickie bird," Joker croaked, pausing for a second. "This is your fault, so you better let me do this. Let me make myself forget. If—if I forget, then I'll... I'll be happy again. And I can learn Batsy's identity the right way. Or maybe I won't ever! And that's okay! Yes, that's absolutely a-okay!" Joker became giggling psychotically. "Then, I can play with the Dark Knight forever! I will break him, all without cheating!" There was laughter, even as Joker resumed his brutalizing his head.</p><p> </p><p>Dick was disturbed on many levels, but he knew he couldn't allow Joker to do this—he'd kill himself. Dick grabbed Joker by the shoulders and pulled him away from the sink. Joker took this moment to head butt Dick with the back of his head. Dick let go of Joker, taken by surprise, and fell on his butt.</p><p> </p><p>Joker of the other hand, fell on his head. All of the abuse seemed to take its toll, because Joker didn't get up. </p><p> </p><p>Dick scrambled to check the clown's pulse. Faint beats. The teenager exhaled in relief. </p><p> </p><p>Not that Joker was a good person who deserved to live, but as messed up as it sounded, Bruce would have been disappointed in Dick if he had just let Joker die. </p><p> </p><p>Sighing, Dick slowly threw the man over his shoulder, careful of the shards of glass. He noticed that Joker's fist was bleeding from his punch to the mirror, and the blood was getting into his suit, but Dick was too shaken up from meltdown Joker had just displayed to care.</p><p> </p><p>The fact that Batman's identity meant so much to the criminal was unsettling. The way he thought it was all a game that he wanted win—one that involved relishing in Bruce's suffering—and cared about so much about it that he'd try to give himself amnesia to make it enjoyable... Well, Joker really was insane. </p><p> </p><p>The sky was dark when Dick got outside of the bathroom. Colorful lights would have illuminated the carnival if Joker hadn't ruined the opening celebration, but now it was empty and quiet. No police lights in sight. They probably assumed that Dick had been kidnapped and taken somewhere else. It was a little ridiculous that they hadn't done a search, and if they had, then, they clearly hadn't bothered to check the bathrooms. </p><p> </p><p>Thankfully, the streets were mostly empty at this time of the night. A few people passed by Dick as he walked out of the carnival and gave him a weird look, but they kept to themselves and walked away without a word. Dick was in the process of trying to decide whether he should drop Joker off at the police or call Bruce when Joker began to stir. </p><p> </p><p><em>Great, </em>Dick thought with an eye roll. Just what he needed. </p><p> </p><p>He put Joker down on the sidewalk and turned his head around, looking for a nearby telephone booth. It seemed like he'd be calling Bruce. Dick was anxious to find out how the man would react to the news of Joker knowing their identities.</p><p> </p><p>"Ngh," Joker groaned, weakly getting up to a sitting position as he rubbed his head. "Ah, my head." </p><p> </p><p>"Look, Joker," Dick said curtly. "You can either sit right there and rest while I call Batman, or I can knock you out again. How are we gonna do this?"</p><p> </p><p>Joker blinked groggily and looked up at Dick, his brows scrunched together in confusion. There was something off about the way he was looking at Dick. "Uh, sorry if I sound crazy right now," he said, offering Dick a faltering, apologetic smile, "but where am I? And who are you?"</p><p> </p><p>A jolt ran through Dick. "W-what?"</p><p> </p><p>Joker gulped, cringing his head down slightly. "I don't—I can't remember anything. There's, like, a giant blank space in my memory. How did I get here?"</p><p> </p><p>Dick stared at him, almost unable to believe his ears. He wanted to say that Joker was messing with him, but he couldn't. Not when the look in Joker's eyes was different. It was <em>sane. </em>Had Joker actually given himself amnesia? Long term memory loss, by the looks of it. </p><p> </p><p>Dick hesitantly squatted down to Joker's level. The man looked at him without a smile or any exaggerated moments. He just slumped forward, waiting intensely for answers. </p><p> </p><p>"I—you really don't remember?" Dick asked. "Nothing at all?"</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I remember a few things, sort of. It's like little snippets of memories from my childhood. But I don't remember how I got here, or who you are, or who <em>I </em>am for that matter."</p><p> </p><p>Dick let out a small huff of awe at the situation. Joker was... not the Joker right now. He was a normal, confused man. Dick hadn't known that that was even <em>possible.</em></p><p> </p><p>"Oh God. Do you... I don't even know if it's safe to tell you, man," Dick said honestly. </p><p> </p><p>Joker frowned deeply. "Why? Am I... dangerous?"</p><p> </p><p>Dick grimaced. "To be honest, yeah. You're not a great person."</p><p> </p><p>Joker seemed hurt by this. He deflated, only muttering a quiet, "oh."</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, look. It's... it's what it is," Dick said, trying to sound empathetic to this sane version of Joker. "You don't remember, so I don't wanna be too hard on you, but I'd appreciate it if you'd follow me, so, you know, I could get this sorted out."</p><p> </p><p>Joker nodded softly. "Yeah, I—I understand." After the both got up from the ground, Joker asked, "so, uh, are you a cop?"</p><p> </p><p>Dick absentmindedly scratched his neck. "No. It's complicated."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh. We're in a mess, aren't we?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah... and you kind of started it."</p><p> </p><p>"Ah."</p><p> </p><p>Dick felt bad. He knew he shouldn't, because Joker was a psychopath that had ruined so many lives and murdered so many people in absolutely inhumane ways, but he had to wonder: what drove Joker to insanity? Did the dreams Dick had seen of Joker's memories have something to do with it?</p><p> </p><p>Joker followed Dick at his side as the teenager tried looking for a telephone booth. He knew there was one somewhere. The more people walked passed them, the more their fearful glances got to Joker's head. Dick could tell by the way he curled in on himself, gripping his upper arms. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn't good that people were seeing Dick Grayson with Joker. If it were Robin, it would be a different story, but Dick had just gotten "kidnapped" by this man. This would be bad for publicity later. </p><p> </p><p>It was like the news wanted to remind him of that, because he and Joker passed by a shop that had TVs on display from behind the window, and on those TVs had a reporter explaining the recent events. Images of Joker and his gunman popped up. </p><p> </p><p>Joker's breath hitched. Dick gave him a concerned glance. The TV's light bounced off Joker's eyes as he looked at the screen. Then, the clown's eyes moved as he looked at his reflection on the window. The connection must have clicked judging by his horrified reaction. </p><p> </p><p>"That's... <em>me</em>," Joker realized, his voice trembling. "Oh my God, I'm a... a <em>monster</em>."</p><p> </p><p>"Joker, calm down," Dick advised, his guard raised. </p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, I should calm down." Joker swallowed. "Or else I might kidnap you again, right?" Then, he doubled forward, sharply inhaling while reaching for his head. </p><p> </p><p>Dick tensed up, dreading that Joker had already returned to his usual state. </p><p> </p><p>Joker looked at Dick, his eyes filled with pain. "I remember you. You're the hero..."</p><p> </p><p><em>Damn</em>. He was slowly getting his memory back. But at least he wasn't insane again yet. </p><p> </p><p>Joker's face contorted in anguish. He stumbled back, almost tripping. "You're the hero and I'm the villain. I'm the psycho. Why would I <em>do </em>those things? WHY!?" He clawed at his shirt where his heart was. "I can feel it... I can feel the blood on my hands, and the—the joy? Pain? Exhilaration? No, no, no, I can't—I'm sorry—I'm so, so sorry—"</p><p> </p><p>Dick reached out of Joker and gripped onto his shoulders. "Joker, stop. Relax. Take deep breaths—"</p><p> </p><p>"Don't call me that!" Joker yelled, making Dick flinch. "I don't want to be him! I don't want to be that MONSTER!" Tears slid down the man's cheeks. That was the second time today. </p><p> </p><p>"Okay," Dick said gently, "okay. What do you want me to call you?" </p><p> </p><p>Joker sniffled, his lip trembling as he avoided eye contact with Dick. "I don't know. I just—I'm sorry. There's no hope for me. I'm too far gone. Soon I'll get my memories back and I'll become that heartless killer again. You—you should get rid of me while you can. I feel like I'm suffocating the longer I stay here."</p><p> </p><p>"Jo—no. <em>Don't</em> say that," Dick ordered sternly. Joker was terrible, but as Dick as put it earlier, this man was not Joker. This was someone in need of help before it was too late. Dick could never turn down the chance to help someone, but only if they would accept it. "The fact that you see that Joker's actions are wrong shows that you're <em>not </em>too far gone. Let me get you <em>help. </em>Joker never wanted or <em>let</em> anyone help him, but you can do that right now."</p><p> </p><p>"But... how do you know that it won't be a waste of time and effort? How do you know if I won't just go back to my old ways when I get my memories back?" Joker interrogated. </p><p> </p><p>"I don't know," Dick admitted, "but if you have hope, then you're giving yourself a chance that you wouldn't have had if you didn't have hope."</p><p> </p><p>"Hope..." Joker whispered unsurely, chewing the inside of his cheek. "I... okay. I want... help." </p><p> </p><p>Dick broke into a sad smile that Joker found himself replicating. </p><p> </p><p>"Great. This is actually really great," Dick said, starting to get excited. "You can get the medicine and therapy you need. I'll even find a way to get you away from Gotham if that's what you want! You can change for the better!"</p><p> </p><p>Joker nodded, his eyes gleaming. </p><p> </p><p>"I can't wait to tell Bruce. He'll be doubtful at first for sure, but he'll see that this is a great thing."</p><p> </p><p>Joker became deadly still at that, his smile dropping. "Bruce..."</p><p> </p><p>Dick raised a cautious brow. "Um... you remember who he is, right?"</p><p> </p><p>"He's... he's <em>Batman</em>," Joker said, the time of his voice strained. "The Dark Knight... my arch-nemesis. He doesn't kill... he won't kill, but..."</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Joker</em>," Dick said in warning. "I mean—um, buddy. Don't think about him too much, alright?"</p><p> </p><p>"Why not? He's my favorite person," Joker breathed. "And—I know his identity now. Because... because of <em>you.</em>" He sharply looked at Dick, a grin forming. "You're the reason I lost my memories in the first place!"</p><p> </p><p>"But that's a good thing, remember?" Dick reminded, nervousness flooding into his veins. "Because now you're gonna get help. You're gonna get help, remember? 'Cause now there's hope."</p><p> </p><p>Joker's lips twitched and drooped down again. He pressed a hand against his forehead, eyes closed. "R-right. Damn it, sorry. I remember being... obsessed with Batman."</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, it's fine," Dick assured, relieved that Joker switched back to normal. "As long as you don't—"</p><p> </p><p>"Help! He took my purse!" A voice cried from behind Joker and Dick.</p><p> </p><p>A man ran in their direction, a purse in one hand and a gun in another. Behind him was a woman wearing a short dress, looking like she had just come out of a club. </p><p> </p><p>Dick's hero reflexes kicked in without giving him a moment to think, and he reached out a hand to disarm the man, but he was distracted, his mind half focused on Joker and making sure that he hadn't left. The burglar aimed the gun at Dick  during his split second of distraction, and—</p><p> </p><p>Dick was shoved to the side. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Bang!</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Joker fell to the ground, and the burglar and woman ran away in opposite directions. Blood that poured out of Joker's chest dripped onto the concrete. </p><p> </p><p>"Joker!" Dick shouted, dropping to his knees and putting pressure on the man's wound with his bare hands. </p><p> </p><p>Joker hissed in pain at the action. "<em>Ah</em>! h-hurts."</p><p> </p><p>"You unpredictable bastard," Dick condemned, his heart racing. "Pushing me out of the way to save me. What were you thinking?"</p><p> </p><p>Joker was loosing too much blood. Crimson red stained his clothes and Dick's hands. The wound must have been very deep for this much blood to be spilling out of his body. Dick didn't have any first aid supplies, and he didn't think Joker would survive long enough for Dick to call for help. </p><p> </p><p>"I was thinking that—" Joker coughed, wincing as he did so "—that the kind hero that offered me a chance was going to die, so I had to do something."</p><p> </p><p>"I—<em>thank you</em>," Dick said, his expression taut, "but... you're loosing so much blood. I don't—I don't think your going to <em>make</em> it."</p><p> </p><p>Despite the wrinkles formed between Joker's eyebrows, he smiled at Dick. "After all the terrible things I've done, Dickie... I had to do one good thing. A hero's life is more valuable than mine. And it's—" a grunt of pain "—alright. I rather go out this way than becoming Joker again."</p><p> </p><p>His breathes were getting shallower. He moved Dick's hands away from his wound and held onto to them instead. </p><p> </p><p>"Now Gotham won't have to worry about Joker wrecking havoc again... pretty awesome, aye? But... but thank you. You gave me a chance to get help. You..." he trailed off, eyes unfocused. </p><p> </p><p>Dick squeezed his hands. "Hey, you still with me?"</p><p> </p><p>Joker blinked. "I remember."</p><p> </p><p>"What?"</p><p> </p><p>"I remember what made me snap."</p><p> </p><p>Dick's eyes widened. </p><p> </p><p>Joker struggled to keep his eyes opened, but he tried as hard as he could to keep eye contact with Dick as he mumbled, "keep doing what you're doing, Robin. Save Gotham. Make it safe. Spread hope like you did to me. If—if I had had a little bit of hope back then, then maybe I wouldn't have become Joker. Don't let another Joker be born from Gotham's darkness."</p><p> </p><p>Dick held onto Joker's hand tightly, nodding rapidly, blinking back tears. "I won't. I won't, I promise."</p><p> </p><p>The clown laughed weakly and closed his eyes. They never opened again, his body still. </p><p> </p><p>Dick stayed there like that for a while, on his knees, his hands covered in Joker's blood, as he thought about how different the impact of Gotham had been on them.</p><p> </p>
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